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Soap Genie Automatic Soap & Lotion Dispenser Soap Genie Automatic Soap & Lotion Dispenser  
Why use bar soap when you can buy a chiming, $40 electronic gadget?

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Remember those "automatic" motion sensor sink faucets that they seem to love to install in airports, McDonald's restaurants, bus stations, casinos, and other high-class venues? You know, the one that's supposed to be more hygienic, but that you nearly always end up frantically waving your hands in front of and eventually punching with your fist because the damn water doesn't come out?

Well, now you can have this same excellent, paradigm-shifting technology in your own home, in the form of a flimsy, plastic, battery-powered soap dispenser. No longer will you be forced to lift heavy objects (e.g. soap) when it's time to wash your hands.

Just place your hand underneath the unit's friendly infrared laser beam (elbow rest and motorized arm moving accessories available), wait just a tad for the unit's fuzzy logic processor to distinguish the presence of your hand from, say, flies or floating dust (see Sharper Image Air Purifier), and you will not only be rewarded with a goop of slimy soap measured precisely to the nearest microdollap, but you will also be lulled to complete contentment with your purchase by a pleasing chime.

Definitely worth the money.

Saturday, December 23, 11:34 2006 GMT

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